Tight Mind Monday: Countdown to Competition - Advice for Parents
Tight Mind Monday 10-24-16: Countdown to Competition - Parents Edition
It’s competition season, parents! Yes, the thrill of victory and the agony of defeat. Here are some Tight Mind Monday tips for parents to save your sanity in the stands!
1. Don't match your child's negative emotions on the day of the competition. Instead, model calm confidence and lead them to a better state of mind. Many parents match their athlete's nervous energy by becoming angry and anxious themselves. Sometimes, competition days are filled with agony over hair not being perfect, fear of failure, and anxiety. Parents are the perfect target. Try and stay out of the line of fire and keep your calm confidence. That will help your child embody that energy as well.
2. Remember to not overemphasize scores and places or compare your child to other athletes. Find the hidden wins that are more controllable and character based. Sometimes it’s fun to pick a character trait before the meet and score your athlete on that quality. It might be confidence on the floor, leadership, perseverance, or aggressiveness. Be happy about achievements and even more proud of the character wins you observe on competition day.
3. What to do on those awful, horrible, very bad days (and there will be some for everyone). Remember to LAV (Listen, Acknowledge, Validate) your child’s experience. Put on your shrink hat and say, “Oh honey. I’m so sorry. I know this wasn’t your best meet.” When there is a natural break in their disappointment (which may take 10 minutes or five hours) ask the all important question, “What can you do to make the next one better? Let’s get going now for the next competition!” This moves them from a passive/victim role to the active, solution-focused master.
You don’t need to watch the meet with your eyes partly shut or take a couple of shots of tequila before beam or pommel horse! Just follow these simple tips and enjoy the ride!
Related:
Tight Mind Monday: Countdown to Competition - Advice for Coaches
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